Proverbs 12:1

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid."

I laugh at the end of this because it seems so blunt and who wants to be called stupid? At the same flip of the coin though, I'd rather someone be honest like that with me than beat around the bush. This morning I woke up actually feeling well rested. That has not happened in... I couldn't even tell you how long. It was like a whole new person woke up this morning.

There's been a part of conviction that I've been feeling of not being disciplined enough in areas of my life. As in not writing daily scripture. I don't do it. I could sit here and make all of the excuses of, "I'm too tired." or "I just don't feel like writing today." but we can call it what it is" laziness." I also have become comfortable in my own home to not upkeep it. And I think there's a level of comfortability when you live with your parent who raised you and just kind of handled everything, which has overflowed into not helping take care of things that need done. Simple as doing the dishes.

So, I felt so bad today and had a conversation with the Lord to just allowing me to almost keep feeling convicted about those two things until it becomes a part of my natural behavior. As if I'm getting up and going to a job. These are responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Reflecting on when I lived in Los Angles, oh my gosh. You would not see a CRUMB on my floor or counter. Everything was always put away, deep cleaned every weekend, spotless. Hence, why I say there seems to be the comfortability of living at home. It wasn't always this way either. I think a lot of things came into play with depression, epilepsy, being sick - so it just became lazy behavior.

When my mom came to me and expressed ways that she's seen differences in where I don't take care of certain things anymore - I know she thinks I was annoyed, but I felt terrible inside. She's taken on so much when it's come to not only taking care of me, but taking on multiple roles in the household while working full-time. If I could be a fraction of the woman she is, I would be amazed. Any of you that know my mom, love her. Moral of the story is, if I hated her when she came and said, "these are things you can do...." I'm stupid. Because not only is she trying to actually encourage me, she's helping me have structure in my life, obtaining skills I've lost knowledge of.

Things that seem so simple to you who might not have a disability, it takes me so much more to retain information I'm given. I practically need a booklet on the majority of things I do in my life. However, that doesn't mean or give an excuse of lacking discipline. It's very good to have in your life. So, remember the next time you want to have an excuse or place blame on something else for not getting something done... the Lord thinks it's stupid. (It says it up above! His words, not mine).